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This week's video is about going from emotional numbing and supression to emotional mastery, and it's totally worth the watch.
But today's newletter is about what happened before and after I recorded this video.
It's about showing up exactly as we are.
I woke up yesterday morning after a long night of intense dreams about a love-affair from my past. It was fraught with big feelings (mostly weeping!) so I woke up feeling like I had been through the emotional wringer.
(SIDE-NOTE: Did you know I have an actual, old-fashioned WRINGER in my home office? It's to remind me that being out of alignment can literally feel like having the s&^% squeezed out of you!)
So here I am, waking up with puffy eyes from sleep-crying and it's the day that I am slotted to teach a class in The Expansion Project Community, record this video, and draft the newsletter so you can have if hot off the press this morning.
And I've got nothing.
Just a hollow feeling in my chest and fatigue brimming through my bones.
So, as I do one mornings when I am not feeling quite myself, I call my sister for a morning pep talk.
But alas, my sister is busy (how dare she have a life and a job of her own!) so now I am back to eating breakfast in my own, emotionally-heavy, uninspired company.
I call the usual suspects but no one is available, even my stay-at-home-mom friends who usually pick up after morning drop-off.
So then I breathe and sit with the discomfort again, still not able to shake it.
Finally, I call the friend who happens to have the time and emotional bandwidth to hold my story, let me sniffle, and then offer the words to soothe my ache so I can get on with the tasks of the day.
She gets through to me because she shares something deeply personal that she is also going through in the realm of love and relationships. She doesn't try to fix it or give me advice, simply joins in and lets me feel bad for a minute, and then reminds me that I will eventually feel better (if I am willing to face some of the emerging demons that have been clamouring in my dream-time.)
And so it goes for the next few hours - get through a task, manage the heaviness, and then onto the next thing.
One of my tasks yesterday was to connect with an old friend from my grad school days. We talked about how both of us wanted to be in a "better space" before the call, and how we each almost cancelled.
But the call was absolutely transformational - we accessed ancestral wisdom, understood in our bones how to shift old narratives, and had profound emotional breakthroughs all in the span of 60-minutes over Zoom.
It was only AFTER the call that we felt better - the connection we had to each other created the space for soothing.
And this got me thinking about the radical changes we are witnessing in The Expansion Project Community.
Rather than waiting until they feel better to show up, people are learning that by showing up, they will feel better.
Rather than moving away from others, members of the community are practicing moving towards each other, grasping on to the extended helping hands and hearts that are strong enough, as a group, to hold even really heavy burdens.
Rather than going off into our caves to figure it out alone, we are gathering around the fire and sharing stories and finding solutions together, just as we have been designed.
And by watching all of this, I am also learning that showing up comes first, feeling better comes after.
So what if you were to experiment this week and find the places and people who will support you to simply come as you are so you can bask in the bond even when you aren't at your best?
Yours In the Connection-Before-Perfection Club,
Dr. Saira
P.S. There are still virtual seats remaining for tomorrow's Foundations in Consciouness Course - Expanded Version. Click here for details.
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