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This week, my husband Faizan and I recorded a video and podcast episode. It's been a long time since we sat in a recording studio together, and it was more fun than I was expecting an impromptu afternoon of recording to be.
A few years ago, we had the idea to start a podcast where we talked about "conscious living", and our friends and family really enjoyed it. We stopped recording once we moved to the small town we now live in, and I started missing that weekly chat where we explored ideas and concepts that bridged psychology and spirituality.
We then transitioned to Monday Musings, a weekly Zoom call where we could have more interaction with our audience and share the ideas live. What we taught was mostly based on Chuck Spezzano's work in the Psychology of Vision, with a little Attachment Theory and Gottman's couples work thrown in to spice it all up.
But what we were teaching was a theory that wasn't ours, and two years later, we closed that group as well.
And then, last summer, The Expansion Project was born, and we were clearly shown that it was all four of us, Monique, Texas, Faizan, and I, that had to plant the seeds and nurture it in its eary stages as the original founders.
Yes, four individuals.
But also, two couples.
So began the journey that led to this week's video.
What's been brewing for me over the last year are some deeper questions about marriage in general:
- What's the purpose of staying coupled up when you're out of the child-rearing trenches and your personalities and interests are so different?
- Besides economic convenience, why would one tolerate all the big and small challenges of co-habitating with another adult with a completely different worldview?
- What would it be like to be romantically unattached in my 40's and 50's...and beyond?
Now, my single and divorced friends remind me that the grass looks greener when you don't have to cut it, so these questions were more ponderings than anything I'd actually take action on.
But for the longest time, I didn't even let myself ask the questions.
As a child of divorced parents, I had firmly and fiercely decided that I would never end my marriage.
No matter what.
So I avoided outward conflict and resorted to stone-walling, and also made a solitary life for myself inside the relationship.
I had walled off my heart so things stayed even and predictable, and stopped thinking of my relationship with Faizan as something that is growing and evolving.
That is, until I met Texas and Monique. While they have their quirks like all couples do, there is this deep, abiding, unshakeable connection between them. They truly look for the best in each other, and can own their shit right in the midst of a meltdown. They have a way of staying intertwined with each other without losing themselves, one of those rare couples who are authentically bonded without feel icky, elitist, or exclusive. There is always room for others in their love bubble, and they use their own past failures and mis-steps as tools to teach younger couples how to keep on keeping on.
They've also been married for 30 years and have 3 kids and 4 grandkids, so they can relate to the real-life struggles that so many families face, from getting through the early years of child-raising, to looking after aging parents, to navigating financial pressures and societal expectations in real time.
Being friends with them has made us hold up a mirror to our own marriage, looking at places we've been Lone Wolfing it, even inside of a committed relationship. It has given us language to understand each other better, and learning and teaching The Presence Protocol has been a game-changer for our own marriage.
The exciting news? The four of us are welcoming a small cohort of couples to join us for an 8-week online couples group starting in Fall 2025. You get to hang out with a seasoned couple who has been practicing these alignment methods for decades plus Faizan and I who are still learning the consciousness ropes but determined to find a way that does not sacrifice authenticity in favour of staying together.
If you want to take your relationship to a deeper level and become more at peace while you do it, this group is for you.
We meet online on Tuesdays at 6:30 - 8:30 pm PST from September 23 to November 25, 2025 (skipping 2 stat holidays). Sessions will be recorded, and in order to get the full benefit and your certificate, you can only miss a maximum of ONE session. You will each get a free copy of The How as a part of your registration!
We are inviting our fans and followers to join in first, so email us at [email protected] as soon as you can to express your interest and get more details before we open it up to all.
NOTE: The way the group is designed, BOTH people have to attend all sessions, so think of it as a consciousness-date-night and let's dive in!
Yours in Finally-Asking-the-Hard-Questions,
Dr. Saira
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