It's Time to Take Stock

It's that time again when I reflect on where I was and where I'm going.

I have had a lot of starts and stops through my career. I thought the biggest one was in March of 2020 when my newly-materialized wellness practice never even opened it's doors because of the pandemic.

A few months later, the nearly-realized dream of leadership opportunities in my faith community fizzled out when we moved to a small town, along with my personal ambitions for my children's academic and social journeys.

And then last summer the dream of Dragonfly Wellness Centre died altogether, another punch in the gut that I knew had to happen for some bigger purpose that I really couldn't see at the time.

There has been a lot of letting go and recalibrating since 2020 for many of us, which I often don't talk about here.

But today I want to bare it all.

It hasn't been easy for us as a South Asian, Muslim (nuclear) family over the last five years as we've adapted to a slower pace of life and tried to crunch ourselves into smaller worldviews and the well-intentioned but stinging curiosity of those who have simply not grown up around people different than them.

It's been challenging to step into the consciousness space when there is this pre-existing "community" of seekers who see genuine, on-going connection as an added bonus rather than a human lifeline, and would prefer lone-wolfing it to the messy discomfort of figuring out how to do things collaboratively and with integrity.

It's been heart-wrenching to stand shoulder to shoulder with The Four (Monique, Texas, and Faizan), pour all we have into this work, and having only a small handful of people show up at last night's meditation circle.

Don't get me wrong, we are deeply supported by our Leadership Team at The Expansion Project, and certain members of our families who see what we're trying to do here and keep showing up, day after day, week after week, helping us hold the vision, but overall, something is out of whack, and I am calling it out here today.

We are on a precipice, and it's time to make a call.

Will we step in to the life we say we want, or will we stay here, on the safe side of things, trying to find a way to do both: hold on to the past AND step in to the future?

As you can probably guess, that's simply not possible.

We cannot expect the old to give us any real or valid information about the new.

Now here's where the conundrum lies, because as human mammals with an energy-efficient brain, the easiest way forward is always to repeat whatever it is from the past that took the least amount of effort and also kept us alive.

For me, that's been a nose-to-the-grind lifestyle where I over-commit myself to work and neglect my family. Where I relegate pleasure and leisure to the sidelines and prioritize being available for client sessions and speaking engagements. Where I play small in order to not rock the boat, and don't speak my mind because keeping the peace today is more important than all my unfulfilled tomorrows.

This old way must end now.

Yes, the way I have done things has created an educational and career path that many would celebrate, and I am grateful for how the controlling behaviours of my former self have kept me alive and superficially safe. 

But I have no room left in me to repeat these old patterns of push/peak/fall.

It's just not an option anymore.

At The Expansion Project, we are at another re-calibration moment where we are taking stock of what's actually having an impact. Is it our weekly meditation circle? The YouTube videos we religiously post? Our behind-the-scenes-reels on Instagram? The new book? The Women's Retreat? Client sessions? Live events and workshops? Something else that was a one-off for us but that actually had a HUGE impact on others?

What is it that actually helps people.....and can we quiet the extra noise?

Can you tell us what's been working for you? (You can reply to this newsletter to help us clarify. We might also use your words to help us talk about what we're up to with other people, with your permission of course.)

I am sensing there will be some changes in the weeks and months to come as the Founding Four get more and more laser-like in our mission and vision. We often joke around the office that "we build it as we fly" or better yet, "we're making all this sh&^% up!" but our commitment to you is that we will keep communicating as we evolve. As decisions are made and direction is clarified, we will let you, our loyal reader, client, supporter, well-wisher, know about it.

But what we're asking in return is for you not to be neutral.

Just as we are taking stock, individually and as a team, would you be willing to do the same? 

Would you be willing to look at where the past has crept in and left a layer of lint on everything, and could you start the tedious (yet deeply gratifying) work of tidying up the inner cobwebs? 

Could you respond to our call and let us know how you're changing and evolving, and what has helped you navigate your own inner landscape?

Would you take our hands as we step bravely together into the next thing where the terrain is unknown and the only way through is actually through?

We have decided to take August off from our Meditation Circle, and we may or may not resume in the Fall - details to come. In the meantime, grab your summer reads (including "The How", now on Amazon), your cool drink, and see you at the cosmic-summer-BBQ!

Yours in Stepping Forward Together,

Dr. Saira

P.S. Mark your calendar for Monday, July 5 at 5-6 pm Pacific to join Monique Peck (our Resident Author!!) in her FREE, monthly, live Q&A about her new book, "The How." Register here.